TLDR: From robots to reasoners - the importance of letting people figure out the outcomes of their actions on their own.
As I sit here, sipping my evening tea and watching a video about traditions in certain cultures, I find myself reflecting on the lessons learned from my teen years. But about that later.
What struck me most is how often we, as humans, tend to over-guide others, especially the younger generation, despite our best intentions.
What stands us apart from other animals is that lessons learned in one generation directly or indirectly passed over to the next generation. So the mistakes that are made and struggles we have passed through are not repeated by our descendants. No parent would want their child to face the same stress and challenges they went through. Natural response is to share the wisdom.
Giving guidance when it due is good as long as it is not enforced. Often times unfortunately it indeed comes off as an enforcing rule that must be strictly adhered. And I'm not talking about things that directly harm your health, like addiction, which require firm guidance due to their destructive nature. Not everyone has the same tolerance against such risks, and that's not something to gamble with.
On the contrary, I believe over-guidance can harm the development of reasoning skills. This is something you don't notice when you're young. You're often told exactly what to do - shovel the snow off the porch, prune grapevines. The missing piece is not just assigning a task but setting a goal and letting the person figure out how to achieve it, with a bit of feedback on their approach later. This prevents them from becoming instruction following robots. While this might seem minor or natural to some, it's not the case for everyone.
During my teenage years, I often spent summer holidays at my grandparents' home. My grandfather, firmly believed in the virtues of hard work and self-reliance. He frequently assigned tasks around the house or garden.
One day, as I walked past the grapevines, which desperately needed pruning, my grandfather stopped me. "You pass these grapevines every day, yet you never think of pruning them?" he said. "And that garden hose lying across the path you step over it daily, but it never crosses your mind to put it away? It's been there for days!"
He continued, "You need to be more observant and proactive. If you see something that needs doing, just do it. Don't wait for someone to tell you." Handing me a pair of pruning shears, he added, "Go prune those grapevines. And while you're at it, put the hose away too!"
As usual, my lazy ass just followed the instructions. At the time, I felt annoyed, and his words seemed harsh. Looking back, I realize it was necessary. But what truly stayed with me was his advice: "If you're always told what to do or how to do, you'll never learn to reason or solve problems on your own."
This simple yet profound statement shaped my understanding of learning and personal growth. Observing others, I've noticed how some struggle to make decisions or solve problems independently, often waiting for guidance instead of taking initiative. This is my personal observation, and I don't claim it to be universal. But I believe that when people are constantly told what to do, they become dependent on others for direction, losing the ability to think critically and act independently.
A lack of initiative can hinder one's career, making it difficult to master new skills or adapt to challenges. I believe this often stems from a lack of curiosity-driven thinking and an inability to tackle novel, real-world problems. Developing critical thinking takes time and may be harder to cover later in life.
There is relatively new term in the hood called "canon event". All in all, I truly believe there is some truth in accepting the challenges and struggles that come our way, as they are often necessary for our growth.
I've seen many people pushed into "safe" paths, only to struggle in the long run, success stories are rare exceptions. As decades pass, I worry this trend will worsen. With AI now able to answer nearly any question, there's a growing risk of cognitive atrophy and an overreliance on blind instruction following.